Sexism~Where?!

The Rocky Mountain Resister, January 2006

Andrea Godshalk

Within five minutes of picking up the first edition of the Resister, my friend walked up and said, “Have you seen the new women’s zine?” I held up my recently acquired and sweetly anticipated Resister and said, “this?” “Yeah, isn’t it great,” he said with solidarity. I replied carefully, “Yeah, but I think sexism is just the theme for this addition.” He replied that if it was about women and written by women then it was for women. This hurt my feelings. It is painful to realize that men in the progressive left still think that sexism is a woman’s issue.

It seems absurd to imagine someone saying that because the theme of this installment of the Resister is about class and classism that this edition is only for people who are poor. It has been in the last few months that I have looked around wondering, “Where is feminism in the progressive community?” For so long I assumed it was an obvious characteristic of people who call themselves radical or anarchist. This is simply not true; in fact there are countless examples in my own community and in the hidden folds of social justice movements where patriarchal behavior slowed down the efforts of the people involved.

Because there is this assumption that sexism has been “solved” in the progressive left it lurks and creeps around unnamed. There is an assumption that naming one-self something such as ‘progressive’ or “radical’ is like a get out of work free card. It becomes harder to identify and bring up sexism with people who assume that they are not sexist and therefore don’t have to listen to people when they bring these issues up. There is this sense that because the world seems to be falling apart and we fancy ourselves some small part of the solution that we don’t have to look at the ways that we participate in oppression and internalized isms. As though, because we have named ourselves something, we don’t have to look at the ways we dance around taking up space with our privileges.

Patriarchy on the left makes me much more nervous than that which I experience in other environments. It is an assumed condition of other environments and I accept it as such. Patriarchy on the progressive left swoops right up next to you, sits down and whispers real close to your ear, “Baby, lets work together, we’re on the same side, the good side. We share the same vision—as long as you don’t challenge mine.” This leftist patriarchy is subtle and sly, it is almost impossible to name. It is so hard to name because there is the assumption in many progressive circles that the work is outside of our immediate experience, that we must stop the war, feed the homeless, get Palestine back on maps. And we can do these things, but they will take longer if there are dynamics in the circles that we work in that serve to silence and disempower some members in those circles. People, men and women, do make attempts to name this leftist patriarchy. Sadly, when an attempt point out patriarchal dynamics is made, spilled out clumsy and brave, these concerns are met with deaf ears. These ears hell bent on fixing something bigger and farther away than something that could be immediately and simply affected, such as the way we are interacting in this room, in this community, right now.

This is the patriarchy that, while holding your hand, says, “Come on, keep smiling and supporting me in the background while I steal your ideas and take your advice and then bathe in the recognition of those things while giving you no credit.” No longer can we ignore the sick feeling in the pits of our bellies that our ideas have been utilized with no acknowledgement or consideration. No longer can these sad smiles be worn because we are afraid to bring it to the table. This has been going on for hundreds of years. It is time that we abandon this creative and energetic siphon that would have some iconic creature walking around as though He was able to single handedly achieve anything.

Let us now shrug off the silence that has us sitting through meetings with He who continues to puff up, like some kind of threatened alpha baby, when his ideas and perspectives are challenged. And then has us biting our tongues as we watch him facilitate trainings in group contentious building.

These scenarios continue to be enabled by the silence of women willing to sacrifice for “the movement” for some “revolution”. This is a farce, as long as women are swallowing silent things into their bellies and hearts there is no revolution, there is only a reinscribing of hierarchies under the name of a new mascot, Radical.

As long as the discussion about sexism remains a discussion about women, by women, sexism will remain. We cannot have a conversation about anything without having an understanding about how internalized oppressions guide our interactions. We cannot have a responsible conversation about anything without acknowledging the influence of the social hierarchies that we live within. And we cannot expect to be participating responsibly in any sort of activism, even if we do not think that our activities are directly connected to sexism, unless we acknowledge our daily interaction with and perpetuation of sexism, even and especially, in our activism.

We are sexist, racist, classist and homophobic people. How could it be any other way, we were raised, and live in a violently hierarchical society. We all walk around with internalized oppressions speaking seductively in our ears. It is time for us to start from a new place, no longer can we go around saying “I am not racist, sexist homophobic etc. Because I know those things are bad.” If we expect to be effective and responsible conduits of social change we must be able to say to ourselves, “racism, sexism, classism and all isms are bad and I contain those patterns of thought. And because of this self knowledge I am ready to, with compassion, go to work on these things as I see them manifest in the world and in myself.” Let us now start with that knowledge, where the work begins, instead of running around convincing ourselves and those around us that these things are not true when they are quite evident in our interactions.

When we begin at the place of compassionate acceptance that we are in fact of the system we so desperately want to change and not outside of it, then we will be more able to confront the tangles of that system within ourselves.

It is also true with increasing measure that men are finding their way to feminism. For instance my friend who thought this was a women’s zine, I have seen him act in bravely feminist ways. Some of the most remarkable, feminists I am in contact with are men. As one of them says, there is no arriving in this work. Men will never become “good” men, but they can become more aware of the experiences of those around them, they can continue to seek out resources that will help them grow and become better allies and reclaim those parts of themselves that patriarchy has deadened thus claiming their own liberation. And most importantly men can begin talking with other men. I will never be a “good” white U.S. citizen; I can only continue to learn the brutal history of this country and what that means to my citizenship. I can only continue to listen bigger and practice interrupting racism when I encounter it.

We have more than a lifetime of work ahead of us to heal and undo the oppressions of the world we were born into. The best we can do is to start now, with the knowledge that we will stumble. This work happens in the context of relationship, where people feel safe. Look around at your community, if you assume a leadership role in any activity, if you feel brave enough (entitled enough to speak up in meetings) this applies to you. Seriously.

The following are amazing, powerful writers, who, if you allow them, will transform you: bell hooks, Toni Cade Bambara, Cherrie Moraga, Gloria Anzaldua, Audre Lorde. With these words I send the energy and imagination for us all to do something creative and brave, especially when it is hard.